so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
