Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize