shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
