On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
this hospital has no fireball
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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