So drunk its hurt
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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