There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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