Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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