did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize
