Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
