Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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