I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize