Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
