after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think my moral compass just broke
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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