You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
They took my balls.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize