she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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