My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm too high and old for this...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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