I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
