so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
