My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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