There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
