You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'd cum for enchiladas.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
