I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
