my mouth tastes like poor choices
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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