you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
