Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
