That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
