normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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