He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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