I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
