like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
