Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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