just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
