We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
