Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
