i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
