Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
