tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
