I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
