Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize