I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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