It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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