why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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