butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
