A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Randomize
