I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
