The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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