Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize