even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
