Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
