get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
operation harelip BJ is a go
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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