Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
