just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
