Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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