we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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