oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
oh god was she eating orange peels again
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
