Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
