your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
