Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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