So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
