Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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