i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize