i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
