the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
