I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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