please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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